My thoughts

I don't know what's wrong with me. Well yes, I'm depressed, I know that, but I have always thought, that it includes only moodswings and cutting. Now I found myself looking at the pictures of anorexia on we♥it. Yesyes, I have watched them earlier but this time, it was different. I looked at the photos of skinny girls, too skinny, and I thought "damn, I know, I can never be like them". And I thought it was a bad thing! I want to look like them, I want to be skinny too! But I know, I'm not ever gonna make it. I never lose any weight, I'll be fat till the day I die. I like food too much. I eat, then I regret it, maybe I throw up, but that's it. I jog sometimes, but I don't really like it. And now I'm sick, and I can't exercise at all. It's killing me. Okay, I can't keep up with my thoughts anymore. Maybe I shoul go now, take a nice hot shower and go to bed. Yeh right, me, sleepin before nine o'clock. Haha, good joke! xx