Thursday, August 30, 2012

I really don't get

ME! How can this be possible again? I _always_ push away the people that are important to me. I did it again today. And now. I can't stop crying.

I'm alone at home. This is the best time to be alone. I left my boyfriend today at school. We had "an argue" and I desided, that this is too much. Now I have had the time to think about it and I realized, how stupid I was again. I miss him already so much, but there's no going back. I have tried everything to stop crying but nothing helps. I have watched TV, listened to music, I even took a bath to relax and forget. Then I have drank a couple of ciders and took some pain killers. Nothing bad, but at least they make me sleepy and I can go to bed and sleep till tomorrow. I don't want to cut because tomorrow is the day, my parents can notice my cuts very easily and I don't want them to see. So I  will cut on Sunday. Now I take some pills more, watch a little pit more TV and then I go to bed. Fuck this night. xx
 (i can't get here any pics, something wrong with my internet :/)

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